"Cankles Are The New Black"

Ya, ya, I know, it’s been forever since the last entry but instead of prostrating myself in front of you and receiving a thousand lashes (most of them self inflicted) I have decided to come to terms and accept that I am and always will be an eternal procrastinator. And I’m okay with that…..sort of.

It’s a pretty sad day when I actively chose doing my taxes over writing a blog entry.  The good news is taxes are done! Bad news is I have not made much forward movement on the bucket list.

I will say, in all honesty my schedule was pretty rammed for a while with shows at night and rehearsals in the days for “War Horse” (http://www.mirvish.com/shows/warhorse). And when we finally got some free, time Mama sprained her ankle (tore 2 ligaments specifically) jumping off a horse in the show. Which some how made it's way through the Brown community and moved from me spraining my ankle while doing the show, to me breaking my ribs while a riding a real horse.... ah, I love my brown peeps!

My Sexy "Cankle"

So for the past 2 months I’ve been working my way to getting back on the saddle (so to speak). And during the 2 weeks I was off the show I consumed more shit than one person should legally be allowed (never mind my already pre-existing routine of a bag of chips and a goblet of wine nightly after each show). I’ll admit, I let myself get in a funk and had a bit of a pity party over the cankle. Which then led to buckets of ice cream, bags of cheesies, boxes of pizza, and a village worth of perogies. But what’s a girl to do when she’s lying prone for 14 days straight?.....Don’t answer.

You know, it’s a shame you can’t sprain your tits -  cuz that’s an area I could really use the swelling. Nope, instead me and my cankle have been hobbling around the city in search of a magician who can sweet talk it back to normal: physiotherapy, active release technique, acupuncture (which left my leg smelling like curry for 8 days – thanks to an herbal paste I got suckered into buying). And in between still eating my way into oblivion.

Not being able to work out the way I like (which is usually boxing) you’d think one would have the sense to compensate by eating a little better. Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a pussy when it comes to self-control around food. Please, I consumed a whole wheel of brie in one sitting by myself a few days ago… it still hasn’t made it’s way from my ass. When your yoga pants start to feel tight (and they’re made from Lycra and Spandex) you know that’s a sign to shit or get off the pot…..and I already tried the “shitting” thing a while back thanks to the disasterous “Uncle Lee’s Dieter’s Tea” - we all know where that left me. So get off the pot it is!

I did finally ease my way back to the gym twice this week. But with the wheels of cheese still stuck to my glutes this is gonna need more than that 2 days of exercise. So I’ve decided to take on a detox and clean out the crap I’ve consumed over the past few months. Ya, ya, I know what you’re all thinking, “Numa, a detox means you actually have to control what you put into your body.” Need I remind you I did do it before while training for the competition…sure I was cranky, irritable and a down right bitch…but at least my skin looked good.

So the detox of choice which still allows me to eat food and not starve myself on brown lemon water is “Wild Rose Cleanse” (http://www.detox-central.com/wild-rose-cleanse.html) . It promises “In just 12 days you can feel lighter, refreshed and more active due to the cleansing process”.  And I can handle 12 days….I think.

So starting next week I will begin my process of pushing that Brie outta my system.

Oh and for those keeping track of the Bucket List, check #34 off.  I finally joined theTwitter (@RahnumaP). Being as technically inept as I am, I thought once one signs up for a Twitter account they will instantly gather flocks of followers. I’m up to a whopping 32!  Take that Lady Gaga! For those of you with Twitter accounts, care to stroke my ego and follow a brown gal and her cankle? 

And # 23, Learn to Play The Guitar, starts this week…as soon as I find a pick for the darned thing.

Will let you know how long I can actually last on this detox.

Until my lazy ass writes again,

R J